Little White Gansters

I don’t know what is up with white kids these days but apparently they all think they are black. Now before you get me all wrong I want to make sure you know I am by no means racist. I just hate these white guys that run around thinking they are gansters. It’s one thing to wear baggy pants and shirts but once you go with the fuckin bandana or fuckin du-rag, you’ve past the line in my books. I mostly hate the ones that you only have to take one look at and you know the fuck isn’t “hard” by no means, in fact I’m positive in most cases that if I went up to the punk and told him to take off his fuckin bandana and stop looking like an asshole, he would probably piss his pants and do it. There are only two people that can pull off being a “wanksta” and they are Eminem & Malibou’s Most Wanted.

The Hooded Bandits

Ever see these dumbies who get on the bus on a rainy day and they leave their hood up for the whole bus ride? I hate those fucks. News flash asshole – it’s not raining on the bus!

It’s Not God’s Fault!!!

I hate when people are interviewed after winning something or accomplishing something and the first thing they say is that they have to thank god for making it happen. Fuck people, do you actually think that god has the time to zero in on you and help you win a game? If there is a god, there’s is definitley more important things for him to be doing that helping you win some stupid fuckin football game or whatever it is you did.

Aside from that, why the hell are you giving all the credit to god? Fuck that! If I win something, I’m taking all the credit for that shit. My Teammates would be lucky to get some credit for fuck’s sake! So stop thanking god and saying you couldn’t have done it without god! You just did do it without god you fucking dreamer!

Jehovah’s Witnesses

I know I’m not the only one that hates these holy fuckin rollers. I mean, I don’t really like any religion but these people really get on my fuckin nerves. I mean if you want to believe in that shit, go right ahead, I have no problem with it. But don’t come to my fucking door and try to force that shit on me! And the little bastards are persistant too! Here’s how the situation usually goes when they visit my house:

knock, knock, knock….ding dong, ding dong (I get it asshole!)

The Grumpy Guy opens the door not knowing who’s going to be there: “Hello” (while thinking: FUCK!!!)

Jehovah #1: “Hi, we’re from the Church of Jesus Chur–”

The Grumpy Guy cuts in: “Sorry, I’m not interrested, I have my own beliefs”

Jehovah #2 being a persistant fuck!: “Oh and what are your beliefs?”

The Grumpy Guy pissed off because it’s none of his godamn business!: “I just have my own and I don’t wan’t to talk about it. Have a good day” (begin closing the door)

Jehovah #1: “Do you mind just taking a pamphlet and having a read? It may interest you.”

The Grumpy Guy takes the fucking thing just to get rid of them

Jehovah #2: “Thank you sir. Do you mind if we come back in a month or so and check on your progress?”

The Grumpy Guy thinking to himself - NO! How stupid are you fucks, I’m not going to read this shit!: “No I’d rather if you didn’t come back actually. Now get you’re fuckin ass off my fucking doorstep before I grab you by the ass of you’re little black suit and throw you over the steps!”

Okay, I didn’t acutally say that last part but I wish I did!

Bus Ride Rants – Vol. 1

There are a million things I hate about riding the bus and you’ll hear them all. Here’s the first:

I hate when you get on the bus and it’s packed and you walk down the aisle and some fuckin jackass is sitting there with his fat ass in one seat and his school bag on the other seat. Can’t you see that the fuckin bus is full and some people would like to sit down? Myself I either just tell the fuck to move his god damn school bag, or I just go ahead and sit on the fucking thing and hope that there’s something breakable in there. That will teach the cunt!

The Weight Of Pucks?

So I’m watching the hockey game and the asshole announcing the game starts a rant about how the NHL has to look into the weight of the pucks and make sure they’re consistant. They show a video of a guy weighing pucks and one weighs in at 6 kg. The next puck weighs in at a staggering 6.1 kg (give or take a little). Really buddy, do you actually think that 0.1 kg has that big of an impact or are you just a fucking Leafs fan looking for an excuse for not winning a cup since Jesus suited up for you? I officialy hate this guy.

I don’t know which is worse this guy or Pierre McGuire when he goes off about wooden hockey sticks vs. composite sticks!

I Hate When People Don’t Flush The Urinal

Is it really that fucking hard to just pull down on a little lever in front of you after you piss? Everytime I go to the men’s room at work, I walk up to the urinal and it’s full of piss. Fuck! Not only does it smell bad but the look of a big puddle of bright yellow piss is gross! When you piss in the toilet, do you flush it? I’m sure some of you dirty bastards would reply no to that. Maybe it’s because we’re spoiled with those urinals that automatically flush when you walk away and really when you think about it…fuck society is lazy! For God’s sake don’t make people use up all their energy flushing the urinal. Jesus!

I Hate My Headphones

I found out recently from my girlfriend that people around me can hear the music I’m listening to on my ipod. I sit on the bus all the fucking time and get pissed because people crank their music and everyone on the bus has to listen to the shit their listening to. So it was devistating for me to find out that I might have been one of those people. Therefore I HATE MY HEADPHONES!

Get To Know The Grumpy Guy

Before you really get to know The Grumpy Guy, you need to know what REALLY pisses him off!

 #1 Most Hated – The New England Patriots

I don’t wan’t to hear all you stupid fuckin Bostonians leaving comments about how I’m jealous about your beloved Patriots either! I just flat out hate everything about the Pats – especially the FANS! Actually that might be the main reason I hate New England. 

The hatred hasn’t just started this year because of your “quest for perfection” or whatever the fuck you retards like to call it either. I’ve hated them ever since that asshole Tom Brady took over and everyone started talking about how good this pretty boy is. Now don’t let the following sentences to go to your head (impossible) but I have some respect for the Pats and Tom Brady. I always talked about how Brady was just a product of a system and I still believe he was, and to an extent, still is. But I will give the prick a some credit, he’s come a long way since he first took over for Drew “I feel now pressure” Bledsoe and yeah, he’s not bad now!

As for that arrogent prick Belichick, I hate that cocksucker more that anything else on earth! I used to actually have respect for him as a coach but the hatred has taken over and now there is no respect left! I could go on all day about the Pats but I’m getting tired of typing so I’ll finish with a few other tidbits that I hate most about the Pats:

Rodney Harrison took steroids – Cheater – and if you’re telling me his buddy Teddy Bruchi wasn’t on them, then you’re fucking kidding yourself. The guy takes a heart attact at the age of 30 and his jaw could go pound for pound for the title of world’s biggest jaw with Barry Bonds & Jay Leno! I wont even go near the Spygate incident, Bill’s probably video taping me as I fuckin type!

 Enough for now. Stay tuned for more hating & swearing!